Today was my 72nd day on Cape Cod. New record so to speak. Serious effort has to be put into lining up a lot of ducks over the next week or so. Have to finalize all the move stuff and make sure all addresses are changed with every bank and company I do business with. Tops on the list is getting a roof over my head and a bed to sleep on once again. Although it has been great for conditioning myself there is something about having a place to call home and a bed and pillow to go to at the end of the day.
Got to find my second almost full can of Deep Woods Off. Is this a sign I should go deeper into the woods? Just a poor attempt at some sarcastic humor. But the stuff does come in handy along the canal at dawn and dusk or along all the marshes of Scenic Cape Cod. Today was awash in emotions and challenges. First off was the fact that my change of address initiated over 2 months ago has been in limbo because they needed an ID verification. Things have been so messed up with the loss of my phone in June and no access to the number because it was a Mint Mobile prepaid account and there are no MM stores to walk into. That led to 5 weeks of multiple failed attempts at rectifying the situation. As I changed the addresses to my bank accounts I failed to update my auto pay accounts and some did not get processed because the address change with my main bank. Duh moment. Yet very expensive at a time that I cannot afford to bleed any more money or go further into credit card debt. On and on I could go about my Monday. Can we have a do over? If only.
Today I logged over 30 miles so far with plans for an evening ride along the canal and try and catch a nice sunset if it comes to be. Much thought went into all the work that still has to be done on this website and many hours setting up the business and sibling websites concerning the chat rooms and an outdoors oriented website in the works, roadpancakes.com .
Lost in all of this is that I am still in a bout of major depressive disorder. I spend an hour or more a day trying to locate stuff misplaced or just plain lost. Making coffee 6 months ago was a 5 minute thing now I am ecstatic to make it in 30 minutes and not lose something or hurt myself in the process. Anything. Everything. Just bogged down in a swirling tempest of hornets all seeking some kind of flesh. Flesh that I am unwilling or unable to give up any more of in my life without a fight. And fight I do. From morning until my head hits the sheets. And that is the key. Keep fighting. Get knocked down. Get back up. Fall down. Get up. Whatever does not work find another way. Keep on keeping on.
The world we live in is hurting. Society as a whole is just a hurting mess if you really stood and looked at it. On facadebook today a friend shared a post about 9 police officers being killed in the past week. What is wrong with America? Why have we come to the point where there is no social discourse and working out of the strains and stresses that life brings. Social media is very unsocial. Very non-relational. We are relational beings. Created with a purpose. We need to see faces. Expressions. Nuances in voices. Be hugged. Shake hands. Feel the warmth or the chill. We have all distanced ourselves from what we need the most with what we hold in our hands, pockets or purses.
Time to change that. Don’t you think? We can do it together. One step and one day at a time. Keep on keeping on. Hug a stranger. Smile more. Let go of all that is not necessary. Find all that is. Cherish and nourish that. Take the next logical step. Keep on keeping on.
Until next time. Hang on to the hem of Jesus’ garment. He still heals. He still hears. He still is coming back. Be ready.
Leave a Reply